THE TALES OF LIVING

How can you not love a nail polish called 'Jack Frost'?

I have recently seen an increase in my mind thinking the following phrases:

I guess I am growing old or paranoid...

So at the moment I am trying, well failing to try to live a cheap life.

Mostly it consists of me thinking "Do I really need to buy this?" and trying to evaluate my choices more. But trying to live the cheap life is hard in an expensive city.

The first plan would be to cut out unnecessary spending - however, this seems to be quite hard. I never shop for clothes (mostly will do this when my parents are around and not really something I spend money on - on my own). So that won't work, fail.

The second plan would be to cut down on beauty things, like make up etc. However, I can be argue that the same thing as with clothes. That it is not really something that I spend that much money on. I rarely by make up and when I do it is normally something that I need, not really one for buying flashy or expensive stuff. So that won't work, fail.

Then I thought to myself, what are my bad habits and how can I cut down on them? We all have out vices in terms of food we eat that isn't healthy for us. This is surely something that I can cut down on? Turns out it is easier said than done. Will I fail?

This song Trubbel (Trouble), is in my favorite version sung by the popular Swedish singer Håkan Hellström. I've decided to translate it for you because it's a lovely song that describes spring as well as heart ache. When I listen to this song I think of spring, blue sky with white fluffy clouds and flowers just about to bloom. Please understand that I'm trying to translate it as accurate and appropriate as possible and will not translate it word for word.

He's sweet, we get along even though we don't know each other that well. We have a lot of things in common.

We first met last summer when I went back to home and then I saw him again for Chirstmas. I was almost hoping that it would be awkward or different. Giving me a way to shut it down. But it was really nice to see him again, it's just so simple.

The only problem is that we live in different countries, so it feels like I shouldn't invest too much into it. I think that we both feel like this, the way it goes... We talk, go for coffee when I'm in the country. But it's like we both know that it won't develop into anything. Because we live in different countries...

Going out, a night on the town, going clubbing - all of this takes effort and I really do not do it as often as I should. These are the years - when you are young when you should be doing this. Don't get me wrong I am not saying I should do this just because, I do enjoy it when I eventually get out there. But there are so many convincing reasons as why not to:

- After a long week I admit,  I am lazy and comfortable. Dinner and a glass of wine or two in front of the telly, seconds away from my own bed just seems so much more attractive
- London is a big town, getting home past the last tube is a Project. There will be at least 2 night buses, 20 minutes of total wait in freezing winds and a good hour of travel time.
- Going out and traveling home cost money, in a city that is quite expensive

Why I should go out:

- See new things and hear new music
- Meet new people
- Becoming a little bit more independent (maybe it is time to go to a acoustic gig or a poetry night in the middle of the week on my own?)

"You catch more flies with honey than vinegar"

Back to being detailed focused and having an subconscious ability of putting those who do not share this trait on the spot. I have realised that I drive a very hard line - I expect people to function like me and work the way that I do.
Wrong, the world does not work like this.
Therefore, I have come to realise that I need to figure out a positive way to drive someone else to deliver what I want. If I want to work successfully with someone, I really should not be so quick to judge them - even if I do this subconsciously and sometimes only catch myself out doing this after it has already happened. I really should try to, and I am really trying to, have more empathy and try to identify with the fact that we all work in different ways. I am trying to learn what kind of "honey" strategies I can implement.

As a person, I have been brought up in a family to have very high ambitions and been pushed to constantly strive and to reach a certain level of achievements. Not in an extremely pressurized way but more of a 'leave all your doors open type of way' for example my parents would always say:

"It doesn't matter if you don't know what you want to do when you grow up, as long as you get straight A's you can do whatever you want."

As a teenager I would find it puzzling when I came across some of my peers that seemed to lack any drive or ambitions. I have fortunately known what I wanted to do since I was 16 years old and have been striving towards that career since then. I would meet these kind of people and over and over ask them:

"Come on, you must know what you want to do when you grow up or what you want to study at university?!"

I am very detailed organised in  combination with my ambitions. I find more and more as I go on in life that not everyone is wired like this. Situations where I try and learn to do better:

Situation 1
A friend and I sit in a pub, he tells me that he wants to start running an open mic night at a venue. Before I know it I have spent 30 minutes doing check lists on napkins and structured up the whole venture. You have to know that I used to run my own nightclub events and he has brought this up to ask for help. I leave him with the list and every once a while query him in regards to his open mic night - nothing ever materialises.

Improvement 1
A friend tells me that he is going to raise a quite large number of pounds (£) to cycle to Australia from the UK, in 2 years time. I bit my lip and listen to the story. I do not draw any diagrams or write any check lists on any napkins. However, I break down and gently asks if he has factored in for injuries in his budget - turns out he hadn't.

Situation 2
I will tend to get very frustrated (internally) towards people at work - who doesn't not have my sense of detail focus. I recently had to take over a half-finished project - hunting down 3rd party companies we work with and asking all sorts of detailed questions because the person before me either did not ask them or did not communicate this information to me clearly. I have a feeling that no matter how politely you phrase the email people will still act slightly defensively - especially when you are questioning them in regards to work that has already been done.

Improvement 2
This is very much a work in progress for me still. So far I have found out that:
- Yes you can try and phrase the emails more politely - use lots of positive adjectives where appropriate
- Don't ask all of questions the same email
-  Use as few questions marks (?) as possible in the email
- Try and remove any accusing undertones from the email

I was on the tube today (underground trains a.k.a. subway for all you lovely Americans) and I noticed the strangest behavior from this guy sitting directly opposite to me.

Looks
Late 20's or early 30's, well dressed suit with a waist long winter jacket paired with nice leather shoes and short brown hair. Very well dress run of the mill working guy traveling home from the city.

Strange Behaviour 1
The guy sits down, holding a free newspaper, he sits down with his legs fairly wide spread appart. Nothing strange with that - loads of guys do this. But then he rolls up the newspaper like you would if you were to smack a bee with it and then he proceeds to jiggle it in - so that it is stuck between his situation and the seat, there is stand sticking out. All I could think to myself was:

The joys of commuting on the tube.

We all have friends that we see less frequently, some that we might only see every 6 months for a quick catch up.

One of these friends in my life has completely disappered. He has always been bad at keeping in contact, bad at responding to emails or texts. But lately he has just disappeared completely - he does not respond to any forms of commincations. It's sad really because I would actually want to be friends with him. He has disappeared before - but I really believe that this time is the last time.

Why do I even care to want to be friends with someone who doesn't even care enough to respond to a text message or email?

At one point you just have to say:

"Enough is enough. I don't need this anymore, from now on you are just the one who disappeared."

There are certain friendships where I feel this strong sense of deja-vu, I will catch myself out and realize that we've already been through this once, twice maybe even three times before. I ask myself some times:

Another good thing to come out of Sweden. She spent a fair bit of time in the UK before returning to the Mother Country and creating this sweet music.

 After a client meeting my manager and I were taking the tube to towards the same direction. I was going back to the office and he was going to a major record label for meeting.

I asked him if was going to a specific office - trying to show off my little knowledge about the ins and outs of this major label. He responded by asking if I had been there. I confirmed that I a few months ago had been there for an unsuccessful interview for their digital department.

Sticky Situation

So I end up having to make a small but still trying light-hearted justification of why previous experience wasn't right for that job but right for position he hired me for. Yeez...

Not the most successful conversation.

It poses an interesting question - sometime when you work closely with someone who is boss and have very comfortable relationship you can end up revealing things you would never say if to your boss if you're relationship was strictly formal.

The ever lasting question of how to stay professional.

This little 5 minute mix by the brilliant AlunaGeorge, is truly how I recommend how to start a Monday morning.

This mix and a cup of coffee and you are golden. Really giving a bit brightness to another start of the week.